Top 5 Kijijiot Tactics

kijijiot (n): A person who posts and responds to ads on Kijiji with either no intention of completing a transaction, or one who offers insulting terms. 

You've dealt with these people before - either a buyer or a seller who is window shopping and wasting everyone's time.  I don't think these people are actively trying to screw with anyone, but whether it's a severe case of GAS, second thoughts, or something else, these people make dealing on Kijiji a pain in the ass.

Here are my Top 5 Kijijiot Tactics:

"Is this still available?"

This one is tough, because there are legitimately people out there who don't bother taking down their ads once items have sold.  Sellers are trying to combat this with ads that have "If you see this ad it is still available" or "Ad will be deleted when sold" included in the description.

Some sellers remain lazy though, so I'm not going to knock the question. Still, I can't count how many times I've received a "is this available?" response and immediately replied "yes", only to have that be the end of the conversation.

Taking inventory for me kiddo?  Can't put together enough personal restraint to take 5 minutes to consider it you want the item before asking?

"Feel free to ask questions - I'm not going to answer anyway"

This one pisses me off the most.  Someone who takes the time to write a nice ad, and offers explicitly to answer any questions you might have.  Then, when you ask questions - nothing but crickets.

Sometimes, the ad disappears shortly afterwards and you can put two and two together.  As a seller, sometimes the question is too stupid to answer.  Other times though, legitimate questions get ignored, the ad stays up (or gets posted again), and you're left wondering what the deal is.

I had one of these recently - I asked questions regarding bridge spacing, neck construction, and tuner post diameter.  Not beginner questions, but for a guy selling a couple of assembled Strats, you'd think he's be savvy.

Ads are still up, and no response.

My theory - I hit a nerve.  Selling a couple of assembled Strats at a very good price, and not answering questions?  Something is wrong with both of them, and my questions let him know that I'd know the difference.

Buyer beware.

"These are becoming very hard to find"

This is a variation on a theme.  Let's call it "the hard sell".  The poster wants to tell you how unique their item is, how special it will make you, and how it isn't going to last long.

The truth is that if something is really "hard to find" or will "go fast", you don't need the seller telling you that, and the seller doesn't need to be saying it either.  When something is "hard to find", there is a race for the item, and the post is gone in less than 12 hours.  The good stuff sells itself.  

I don't mind salesmanship, but don't try to mark something up 50% and use one of these lines as a justification.

"Upgraded - Now pay me what I spent!"

I've said this before - upgrades to a guitar are worthless on the secondary market.  Putting $300 worth of pickups in a $200 guitar means you have a $200 guitar with free pickups for the next guy.

Even standard upgrades, say locking tuners on a MIM Strat, will yield no increase in value.  Think about it: If I'm the buyer, my first inclination is to tell the seller that their MIM Strat is one of a dozen available, and while locking tuners are nice, they're not worth a penny more, since I never really thought you'd need them anyway.  Sure, it's a bit of a negotiating tactic, but it is an obvious and easy one.

Even better - Let's imagine a Squier Standard Stratocaster loaded with EMGs.  The seller is going to ask for at least $250 for this guitar (and I've seen upward of $300), but they're not going to get it.  At that price there are nicer instruments to be had (I'm honestly shocked at what $300 will get you these days in terms of quality).

Instead, strip the pickups out.  Sell the guitar for $100-$150, and sell the pickups for $100-$125.  Sure the guitar is not making you much, but that's what they're worth - deal with it.  As for the pickups, a set of three EMGs at $125 is a great price if you ask me.  Both parties could probably live with $100.

In both cases you're going to have to wait for the right buy to come along, but your chances are much better that trying to sell the entire package for more than anyone would be willing to pay.

"I'll trade you a DS-1 and $35"

You can almost hear the kid counting all the money in their piggy bank. Poor thing. These might bother me the least, because you know you're dealing with a 14 year old who considers $35 of his or her own money to be a princely sum.  I always respond with a "no thank you" instead of being shitty, but this can definitely be grating.

I don't think age is an excuse either, because I'm pretty sure they teach math in school these days (and failing that I'm pretty sure there is an app for that).  Your pedal is worth $40 on an extremely good day.  My item is worth $200, but maybe you could talk me down to $150.  I mean, you won't, but let's pretend.

$40+$35?

You better download that app kid.