Wanna know how I got these scars?

Remember the guy that tried to pass off that Squier Affinity Series Tele as "Made in Japan?"

Remember him offering a trade?

He's back, and he's officially my nemesis.  That makes him Batman, I think. Or Joker.  Maybe both?  Either then?

Doesn't matter.

He's definitely Batman, because he's made me lose my goddamn mind via email (as opposed to a really bad day I guess).  Also his name reminds me of "Cornish Game Hen", which is closer to a Bat than a clown if you ask me.

Like this, but instead of killing Batman, Guitars.


If you spent the kind of time I do on Kijiji, you eventually start running into some familiar folks.  Not faces mind you - No no, these people rarely even deal.  They are the classic tire kickers.  Interested at a distance, ready to spend, then suddenly nothing.

I've had the Squier Standard Stratocaster posted for awhile.  I'm only asking slightly more than I bought it for, and figure my attention is worth the extra cash.  As always, I remain patient.  "Cornish Game Hen", let's call him "Hen-Man" from here on out, had made a trade offer weeks back for his Squier Tele.  I told him I'd accept if he kicked in $60 (knowing he wouldn't).

Two weeks pass and I get an email from... Wait for it... Hen-Man.  He's offering $80.  It's a start.

I reply that $110 is the lowest I'll go.  I'd probably do $100 in the right circumstance, but I'm not there yet.  Does $10 matter?  Sure it does.  Don't believe me?

Please send me $10.  I'll provide my email address for e-transfer.

No?

I think I've made my point.

Did he just accept?


Hen-Man replies with a question:
HEN-MAN: "What kind of pickups?"
Pickups?  Really boss?  This is a Squier Standard for a buck ten.  So Bare Knuckles, obviously.
Me: "Stock. Obviously."
His response begins my decent into madness.
"I was asking because I got one with Duncan's like my squire tele."
Duncans?  In his Squier "Tele"? That guitar doesn't have Duncans, Duncan Designed, or anything of the sort.  Then again, he thinks his Tele was made in Japan, even though it says Made in China on it.

Wait.  Maybe he thinks China and Japan are the same country.  So... stupid or racist?  Both?

The answer is yes?

The Next Day


I follow up the next day - Are you still interested Hen-Man? Hello?
HEN-MAN:"Yea very very interested did we agree on and amount"
I'm pretty sure this guy is f$*king with me at this point, but the exchange continues:
ME: "I said 110 firm. You can check the emails."
HEN-MAN: "deal after lunch to tomorrow i have talk to a lot people, did you want meet some where whats the plan" 
I give him my phone number (that's the rule) and tell him where I'll be around noon.  He agrees to the place with a slight modification on time.  He's visiting his daughter in the morning apparently.

Digression:  This guy has kids?  Jesus, the stupidity will survive another goddamn generation.

"I am the Crazy"


The next email makes me suspect he's screwing with me:
HEN-MAN: "Do you have a number to text your at and I can meet you there" 
Phone number?  I just sent it to you idiot.  Fine.
Me: "The same number I emailed earlier.  Please read below."
Am I being a dick?  Maybe.  I could have just typed it again, but I feel like I'm getting screwed around.

Hours later, I receive the following:
HEN-MAN: "No by thanks"
 Huh?  Your spelling is atrocious, but that isn't the point.
Me: "Sorry what?  Now you are saying you dot want to buy?"
HEN-MAN: "Never said that when I use my phone it types  what it wants" 
Wait what?

You and I are destined to do this forever?


I never did receive a text, so I have to figure either this guy is messing with me, is really senile, or a combination of the two.  In any case, I know he's local, and I expect I'll run into him again.

So if you ever run across someone whose name makes you think "Cornish Game Hen", run the other way.  Quickly.  Or you know, whatever the email equivalent is.  Delete, I guess?

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