Kijiji Comandments

Eventually, I'm going to get around to writing a "Ten Commandments" of Kijiji.

Two reasons for this.  First, people internalize rules if they're presented in easy to digest formats, like "Top Ten" lists. Maybe one day, Kijiji could adopt the list, and I could become the Billy Graham of Kijiji, travelling the land, spreading the gospel according to GuitArcher.

We could call the "kijijiments" instead of commandments, except I just read that and it is tucking ferrible.

Second though, and way more importantly, the internet frickin' loves them some Top Ten lists.

"You WILL succumb to my click-bait!"

"Thou shalt honor thy word."

This is definitely going to make the list, maybe even at the number one spot.  I posted the Squier Standard Stratocaster recently for a very reasonable price, and have had a few trade offers, none of which blew sand up my skirt.  Patience as always.  40 years in a desert this is not.

Eventually, a message with promise came through.  He asked about the fret wear.  It's a good question, and usually one specific enough to suggest real interest. Sure, a bit specific at this price, but still a good sign.

Answers provided, he asks if he can come see it.  We work out a time and I provide my phone number.  He responds with:

"ok My Phone is on the fritz where in (city)"

Strike one.  Also punctuation.  Use some damn punctuation.

"Thou shalt provide a phone number."

Well, obviously this clown didn't, but hey, maybe his phone is actually on the fritz.  I give him an address, and wait.  On the day he's supposed to show, I get an email:

"I'm not gonna make it tonight thursday? Anytime after 330" 

OK, fair enough.  Stuff happens, and schedules get changed.  I reply that Thursday is fine.  Guess what happens Thursday?

Not a damn thing.

"Thou shalt not be a creep. Seriously."

So the next morning, with Reggie being MIA (we'll call him Reggie), I email back.  You see, I don't mind that he skipped.  I don't mind if he isn't interested anymore.  I DO mind that you have my address now and are refusing to communicate.  The following is sent to Reggie:

So what happened? 

You know, you ask for a guy’s address and then you don’t show up. Plus, you won’t give a phone number because “your phone is on the fritz." 

You trying to be a creep?

Aaaaaand crickets.  No response, and I'm not expecting one.  Even money says that this is some kid (based on punctuation alone) that couldn't get mom to drive him over, or he spent his money on smokes and video games and figures he doesn't owe me a "no thanks".  Still, I'm left thinking that I've ignored a very important Kijiji Commandment:

"Thou shalt not provide an address until phone numbers are exchanged"

Of course, we all get a bit antsy about this - you hear the bad stories.  Maybe the kid is casing the joint, and he and his crew are going to pull some kind of Ocean's Eleven crap.  I doubt it though. Especially since, thanks to the internet, I know where he lives too.

You think it ended at 11?

Oh, did you think there would be ten commandments today?  Bwahahahahahaha.